Wow, I am finally getting the chance to sit down and write to you guys in what feels like forever. There is so much that has happened over these last few months, some good and some not so good, but all of which I can’t wait to tell you.
Last time we were together, it was Spring Break, (damn its been too long)…
I completed my 23rd lap around the sun, my boyfriend, Carson graduated from Oregon State University with a double major in Forestry Engineering and Civil Engineering and got a job offer as an Engineer at a company in Seattle, and last but definitely not least, we celebrated our two year dating anniversary detached from the rest of the world at a peaceful cabin perched on the most serene lake (more about that coming soon)!
Oh, and not to mention, I auditioned for a professional skating show. But let me back up for a second…
Throughout this year, I have been teaching under my previous coaches, learning new techniques, while also trying to save money for future and travel. I began to realize that I needed something more before hopefully stepping into my career working in the Public Relations and Marketing industry. I decided, with the influence of several of my skating peers, that I should try my hand (or feet rather) at auditioning for a professional show. Starting to train again after four years of passively skating has not been easy, and I still have a ways to go before being ready, but I am over-joyed to let you know that I received an offer to skate with the Royal Caribbean Cruise line on the Oasis of the Seas. My contract goes from the end of November to the middle of June and sails around Eastern and Western Caribbean and then around the Mediterranean, ported in Barcelona, Spain.
Even as I just typed that out over a month later from finding out, I noticed the tempo of my fingers hitting the keyboard almost tripled in speed, overwhelmed with excitement.
So that is pretty incredible, but completely throws our life for a loop. I have to be completely honest, when I found out I got the offer, every single ounce of my body was overjoyed with emotion, I couldn’t believe what I was about to see and do. I was so proud of myself for going after the audition, and getting to complete this last part of my skating career for me. But then, it immediately hit me that this means I would spend six months away from Carson, someone who I have just gone through two years being away from. Except this time, I wouldn’t be a three-five hour drive away, I’d be a 10-18 hour flight away.
But how lucky am I, that this person who I want to share my life with, stopped me immediately, and said
“you’re not allowed to worry about how we’re going to do this right now, you’re not allowed to be upset about being apart, you’re only allowed to be extremely proud of yourself.”
Word for word.
If that wasn’t big enough, Carson graduated and is moving into the next phase of life, which can be a hard adjustment. Let me start off by saying, I am incredibly proud of him, and I can’t wait to see how he develops through this coming year. Now not only are we going through the adjustment of him moving out of college and onto an adult, we have to plan for what his job requires. His second day at work, he was flown to New Mexico for two weeks to work at a job-site. We recently found out that he’ll be traveling quite a bit, both before I leave for the cruise and while I’m away. This will be good and keep him busy, but just makes it that much harder for us to communicate.
I write this as if any of this has been an easy decision. However, I’m a firm believer that in order to be an even stronger couple, each individual in the relationship needs to go after their own personal adventures.
I will be the first to say that there are definitely some things we need to iron out as a couple before I leave in November. But more importantly, there is a lot of work I need to do on myself to be able to get through this extreme long distance for six months. If I haven’t been transparent about this before, I will be now, I have major trust issues and anxiety that come as a result from things in my past and the way I am wired. There’s a lot I’ve discovered about my mind over these past few months that I’ll be sharing with you, and hopefully we can go through this process together – for a successful outcome. What can I say? I’m human.
As you can see, there have been some changes that have happened in both of our lives as individuals, and drastically as a couple. Nothing we can’t get through, but nothing that will be easy. Our plans are to move into an apartment together in when I return from my time abroad, at which point I’ll search for a job in the industry in Seattle.
As for what we’re doing now? Well Carson has already started his job, as I mentioned, in Seattle, and I am still teaching skating in Portland, while training, and living with my mom until the end of November when I board the ship.
I promise to connect more with you all and be back very soon with more. Here’s to new adventures, self-betterment, and gratitude!