• Everything Happens for a Reason, I Guess

    “Everything happens for a reason,” they said. “If it’s meant to be, it will be,” they said.

    This idea that we tend to see meaning in change has become a direct reaction to events and situations that can’t much be understood or planned out otherwise. In our society, there is a tendency to accept that there is a plan, unknown to that person at that moment but that it will unfold with time.

    I can’t help but wonder where this concept is derived from, and how people are so universally confident in saying so.

    Atheist or a religious believer, people continue to throw out these quotes as a response to big life changes to rest easy in the idea that there is a plan and a path to get to whatever is right. I’m struggling to understand if that is just the result of America’s highly religious society that even as an atheist, one can feel at ease that life will unfold as it should. Perhaps, it is the culmination of proof of people’s personal lives and stories that we can confidently believe life will work out as planned.

    Regardless of why we say it or where it comes from, I agree with the rest that there is comfort in hearing that. Although I appreciate spontaneity in the everyday life, I like to know my plan and my direction.

    However, with this stage of life I am currently in, how do I know what to follow and what to ignore? How do I make sure that if I’m right in fighting something that is a habit to move forward or fighting something that is meant to be? How do I know if my effort to release control of the outcome is letting my “meant to be the path” happen or is it me being passive?

    Where is the line between trying to control my decisions and force a situation, or sitting back and not working for something that is supposedly “meant to be”?

    In my current days, I find myself searching to understand how to follow a heart that is broken and confused and in the process of repair.  How can a person one minute know something so deep to the core, then the next to be in such a cycle of insecurity with that decision?

    For my career, it’s still obscure but is a little more black and white. I like my pro/con list system that I follow. For a job offer, it is easier to jot these down and see what’s better in that stage of your life, much easier than emotions.

    I pose these questions, but don’t assume anyone will know the answer in general, never mind catered to my life specifically.

    Throughout my life, people have always said that I’m so put together. I’ve always had a plan through my competitive years in ice skating, a plan for college, a plan for working two to three jobs while in college, and originally a plan for life after college.

    I thought I was set up and prepared, but when there is a complete fork in the road, now there is the real challenge in staying put together when there is an endless world of opportunities with different people, connections, and job activities that are ahead.

    Needless to say, if you’ve gotten through this messy, maybe even pointless spew of words on a page, you can know that I’m not always put together even though I always try to be.

    Maybe, this will help others in finding comfort, knowing that they aren’t completely alone, lost in a world that is so vast and unsure.

    As I’m finishing up these last few words before I post, I just overheard two women talking about their lives and one telling the other, “well if it is meant to be, it will be, you know everything happens for a reason”.

    How ironic right? Or maybe that’s a sign that I’m not alone. Maybe even that little moment also just happened for a reason.

    KISS, KISS

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