I’m a very out-of-sight out-of-mind person that it makes being away from home for long periods of time a bit easier to handle. The more I talk to my family, the more I miss them so naturally its just easier to be in my own little world. So much so to the point where if I’m calling my family frequently, they know I’m either sick or really anxious.
As we grow older, we learn how to sort of “self-sooth” and talk ourselves through irrationalities and emotions. We learn how to break things down and sort through problems. We look to friends or colleagues for outside perspective and move forward.
But then there are other times, when I don’t know about you, but I transform from an independent 26 year old living abroad to a six year old throwing herself a nice little temper-tantrum.
Its during these moments that I just need to call my mom and hear her tell me that everything is going to be okay. What is it about moms that makes us always want to ask their advice or tell them just one more thing? Its the fact that always when I’m feeling sick, anxious, or alone, I feel my hand automatically go to my phone and dial her number. It has to be some sort of science that mom’s just make things better, plain and simple.
However, with me on the cruise ship and her in the air (she’s a flight attendant by the way), there’s lots of times when I can’t reach her. It’s then that I try to remind myself of what she would say…
I wanted to put together a little list of some of the most helpful and applicable advice that I’ve been given by my mom or mother like figures in my life. These few things are the simplest words of wisdom, but might be just what you need to hear when you’re down in the dumps or running on empty.
Get Some Sleep
I cant even tell you the amount of times that I’ve called my mom anxiously overthinking and she’s come back with “just get some sleep please”. A lot of times we forget that we might just need to take a step back, shut our eyes, and see what tomorrow brings. We aren’t our best when we’re overworked, overthinking or overwhelmed, so its incredibly important to recharge. Practice some nighttime rituals to help you relax your mind and get some shuteye.
Make Sure You’re Eating
Make sure you’re eating. What are you eating? When’s the last time you ate? My mom correlates almost everything to food. Anytime I have a health question or I’m feeling exhausted I hear, “well what are you eating and you should write it down and see if there’s a pattern”. As we grow older our bodies change and sometimes foods that used to give us energy, we may end up being intolerant to. Its important to note what we’re eating when our bodies are reacting in a different ways and replace those with foods that give us energy. Remember, there’s a time and a place for those treats we love to indulge in, don’t forget to let yourselves have that too.
Drink Some Water or Hop in the Shower
How much water did you drink today? Whether we’re sick, anxious, or tired, most times we don’t drink nearly enough water as we should. The more out of it we are, the less we remember that our bodies need water to flush itself out. Also, being near or in water is a great way to help our bodies relax and reset. I’ll admit it, sometimes when I’m exhausted or overwhelmed, I just sit in the shower and let the hot water run on my body. Can’t tell you how much better I feel because of it.
Things Take Time
This may be one of the hardest ones to hear. In a world where everything is at the touch of our fingertips, instant gratification, its hard to remember to be patient. Be patient with yourself, with your body, with healing, whatever it is. “Time heals all wounds” or so they say.
Meditate, Read a Book or Listen To Music
If you’re feeling drained from your daily life, the best thing to do is give yourself a moment to escape it. Read a book, meditate, listen to a podcast or music, whatever your thing is find it and make time for it. Put your phone down, stop comparing yourself to someone else, stop looking things up, stop the overthinking and clear your head.
Cry It Out
Its okay to cry, in fact its good to let it out. Sometimes all you need to feel better is a good cry. Don’t judge yourself or rush through those emotions, let yourself feel them. Your feelings are valid, so don’t forget to give yourself the space to embrace them.
Worrying About It Doesn’t Make It Better
This. This is probably the most commonly used phrase that my mom says to me. I am an avid worrier, massive overthinker and my anxiety is the cherry on top (and the chocolate sauce for that matter). Mom always says worrying only makes you have to go through it twice. It will be whatever it will be. Worrying about what happened or what will happen doesn’t change the reality of what is going on in the here and now. This is way easier said than done, but try to stop worrying, try to calm your mind; if only I could take my own (well my mom’s) advice on this one.
Change Your Scenery
Maybe all you need is a little change in scenery, something else to look at, or a different environment perhaps. Check in with yourself and see if you’ve been working (for instance) in that space for too long. Its time to move into a different room, go to a coffee shop, take a walk, go to the park; something to give yourself a reset.
Kill Them With Kindness
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” Don’t let other people’s attitude or opinions of you change who you are or the way you are. Don’t stoop to their level to make things even, that makes you just as bad as the person who’s challenging you. Be kind, but don’t be fake. Most importantly, don’t let the people that don’t deserve you consume your thoughts and waste your time.
Know Your Worth
No matter what people say or do or what happens on the outside, you are in complete control of how you view yourself and what you deserve. Believing that we are unworthy can affect everything from our thoughts to our emotions and to our actions. Knowing your worth will help you in all aspects of life to understand what you deserve and how you should be treated in relationships, friendships, career, etc. How you value yourself is the most important thing to achieving a happy life.
Life Isn’t Fair
She told us when we were kids and its the same now, life isn’t fair! Some people get this, while others get that, and this world that we live in will never be equal. Just acknowledge it and either do something about it (if you can) or move passed it. Don’t dwell on the difference, just accept what it is and move forward.
So thank you to all the moms out there for giving us advice on navigating life as we get older. Thank you to my mom for giving me the tools to help understand and be better prepared for what that life throws at me. Mom’s really do know best.